My Job, Home, Tests (!) and People

As I sit in my new home on a random Saturday afternoon and go through my previous post, I can't help but look back at this last one month. From the time I stepped out of the airport, to the guesthouse, to the home, to office, it has been a rollercoaster ride.

Ofcourse a lot has to do with the people here, new and old. The first person I met here apart from Nitesh (hereafter referred to as motka), was my 3rd "apartment-mate", a tall 6'4'' guy with size 15 shoes from IIT Bombay, Vishnu Narayanan Suresh, who we christened Uppu II (in honour of the original Uppu) within 30 minutes of meeting him. Looking for and finding an apartment was an unexpectedly much easier affair to handle than 1st expected... It took us a mere couple of days to finalize on the one we are staying in right now. And within a week motka, Uppu II and I had shifted into our new "penthouse".

The first day of work, the new office, new people, a new environment to adjust to.. all seems to have happened just yesterday, as the days just seemed to fly by and life fell into a routine (sort of :P). One month down the line, with a bank account containing the remnants of my first salary, it all feels a bit unreal. Before I continue, I need to mention a funny Parthiv Patel look-alike from Patiala, Sidharth Dixit, who has been one of the constants in this crazy time in Gurgaon, always helpful and fun to hang out with. Also a shout out to all the guys in office (17 names jot down nahi karna :P). Its been fun, all the training sessions, and the tests... not just the ODCs, but other tests as well (eh motka ?) , and all the plans made sitting peacefully on our terrace after a long day at the office (yeah right :P). I never thought I would have to sit for so many tests once I left Kharagpur (though atleast that gave some sadistic pleasure to a few people :P).

Now obviously, not everything has been hunky dory, because life just loves to throw in a sucker punch or two to mix it up doesn't it ? And so I've had my share of curveballs thrown at me as well, but its something that you need to take in your stride. Its always tough to walk away from something that has been a big part of your life, but there are things that are out of your control and there is only that much you can do. After that, its out of your hands and really depends on factors out of your control.

But moving on from depressing thoughts, its a whole new life that's just begun and there's a whole new world of people out there to encounter, (also a lot of friends to meet up with yet) and a whole lot of planning to do on our rooftop terrace-garden. (Yes we have a rooftop terrace-garden... and yes its awesome to sit out there at nights looking at the Gurgaon skyline, under the stars :D). So here's hoping that this time things keep going smoothly, without hiccups like certain tests and walking away... and a big thank you to all the people who have been here (baniya, THE ankit singh, ek pavitra aatma and all) .

PS Lest I forget, one of the most amazing moments, el toque del espana, para celebracion de una amistad.

My Rollercoaster

Well what a whirlwind of a month this has been since my last post !! From (the now seemingly) mundane stuff like clearing my dues and walking out of college for good to the really mindnumbing feeling of the possibility of losing a close friend forever, its been a real rollercoaster ride. Atleast we still have our friend !

Such an incident, and its aftermath, makes you stop and think; think about what is important in life, think about what choices should be made, basically just think about life. Is it not too precious to throw away due to the whims and fancies of a perceived "loved one" or due to expectations and burdens that other people put on your shoulders ? Sometimes taking a drastic step makes no sense if the reason of that step is not affected by the outcome... actually it never makes sense, forget that "sometimes". Stuff like this makes you realize that its never prudent to get too carried away by ones emotions. Also to not get so close to any person that you get hurt.

Well you'd think that people would learn... but then again, I guess Darwin was correct and so we continue playing with fire and we keep getting burnt, again and again and again, every time thinking that this time it will be different ! We've all been there. But still such an incident, so close to home, makes you think twice... is it worth playing ? Once you get burnt, it does take time to heal, sometimes a lot of time, but then you need to think... how far away from that fire can you bear to be ? Such an incident makes you question yourself, your beliefs, and most importantly how much of yourself are you willing to expose... and to whom ? We all know that we would not take such extreme steps, but I also know that our friend was not one to take such a step either. So who are we to say what went through his mind, what thoughts were running through him, what emotions had he been fighting ?

So once again you find me pessimistic and utterly cynical about people, relationships, and just life in general. As you would say in poker, after this incident do I have the sack to ante up again for another round ? Or do I walk away from the table, busted ? I believe this time, its not solely upto me, but its upto my friends, people that care for me. It is they who can give me the assurance to ante up again, to buy in to the table for another round again, because this is one poker table that CANNOT be handled alone...

Be that as it may, the days keep going by and I inch closer to my joining date at EXL Services (formerly Inductis), Gurgaon... my first job! Again a whole new beginning, not unlike the first day at college, a new town, a new environment, new people. And you can't help but think, What will my job be like ? What will Gurgaon be like ? What the people I encounter will be like ? etc. etc.

There are a few people I know in Delhi, will I meet them ? Will they remain a part of my life or will they just phase themselves out ? Will a couple of particular friends remain a part of my life ? What about other friends, from school and college ? Will they remain or will they, too, get phased out ? Will I make the same mistakes that I made earlier ? Will I go through on my dream a couple of years from now ? What I can't deny is that the apprehension is far outweighed by the excitement.

The wheels are in motion now... and I have a feeling that this rollercoaster ride is just getting started....

My Small Moments

With just over a week left for this chapter of my life to close, I cannot help but feel nostalgic about the four years I spent here, at one of the "premier engineering institutes" of this country. I still remember the mixed feelings I had while coming here, not unlike those I'm having now. A sense of accomplishment at having cracked arguably the toughest entrance examination, a sense of apprehension about what awaits me in an "IIT", a whole gamut of emotions too complex to explain.

Four years later, I must say that I have learnt a lot here. Though I do not have much to show regarding my prowess in Metallurgical and Materials Engineering, which incidentally was my major here, I leave with something a lot more important.... friends and experiences. From the most random and unplanned trip ever to a scenic Gangtok to a visit to IIT Guwahati on a "debate" that turned out to be much much more for reasons I had never expected, to being able to visit Spain, Italy, France, Singapore... places I had only dreamed about. I made a lot of friends, some close, others closer...while people entered my life and left, some being my fault while others of their own volition. All in all its been one heck of a rollercoaster ride, scary, exhilarating, with a lot of ups and downs, but on the whole a lot of fun.

But you ask what are the memories that I take back from this place ? So which are the memories I cherish the most out of all the myriad of emotions faced...? Because, after all, as said in El Secreto de sus ojos, "Its only memories that you take to your grave" :) . Well, I had initially expected it to be tough to pick out single incidents but surprisingly I find that a few memories stick out the most.

For example, Spring Fest this year was very happening for me. Making new friends, meeting up and hanging out with old ones, going for salsa, hockey et all... but surprisingly its not any of these that stick out in my mind as much as one single moment, one plain and insipid act that didn't even warrant much attention. Now I don't know why that stands out so much for me, but it does. Because when it comes down to the basics, its not the Indian Ocean concerts that I'll remember or even my first and only "EX" in IIT (yes I just put that in there to show that I got one :P). Its the small things that will stay with me, the small moments that I shared with various people, whether it be the time when a friend popped an innocent Melody into my mouth catching me unawares (yes somehow THATS the memory that stands out the most for me this Spring Fest.. weird but true), or the time when you just sat quietly alongside someone special with a beer and a B52 in front of you, the time when you exchanged a knowing glance with a friend across a table in Gangtok, the times when you came out of a viva (always with the same guy and the same marks, Shishir and 0), the times spent sitting in Cheddis and Tikka and Shady's with a cup of tea and no intention of getting up, the time your Jacks and Aces full house got beat by an Aces and Jacks full house, the time when an awkward question (or two) popped up for a friend during a Truth and Dare session, the time when a friend laughed so hard that sauce spurted out the nose, the time when a lunch box was handed over at the train station, the time when a friend and I were forced to practice stopping hockey balls at 5:30 in the morning (still half asleep), the moments are as innumerable as they are innocuous.

As I said before, there have been ups and there have been downs, some moments that hurt a lot and some that didn't, some that made me happy and some that left me nonplussed. But overall I would like to think that all this made me better and stronger for any trials and tribulations that this world has to offer because, and believe you me, I have done almost everything that could be done in my time here. I'd heard that college life would be fun and something to remember, but I never knew it would be this awesome. From the people in my first year, Uppu, Chor, Ledi, Sunil, Chom, Baniya, Majdoor to the people I met later Prateek Agrawal ("jcb anyone?? vs ??"), Thusuda ("wooo"), Bubs ("kyaa"), Urmaliya, the whole poker house, Dubeyda, and a whole lot of people.. the gadhis, the losses and mona... these are the people who made this "trip" memorable.

A lifetime of experiences that I take from this small nondescript place called Kharagpur. Four years that taught me more about life than I could have imagined, four years that taught me (to use a poker analogy) that even if you have a strong hand and suffer a really bad beat, you have got to have the sack to ante up again. Four years that I will cherish forever, for the small moments that made the ride worthwhile, four years that now I will never get back but will always have with me. Four years that taught me more about myself than I could have imagined, four years made up of moments of a lifetime.

My Faults (?) :)

Every couple or weeks or so, some new thing comes up which inundates your "Walls" and "Status Messages" on the various social networking platforms that are there. There used to be random shit like "Tag your pals" where you could wake up one day to find out which pokemon or which other equally redundant cartoon character your friend thinks you are. Then there was the "tough-questions-about-friends" app and the various manifestations of it, and the list sort of goes on.

And nothings changed. One thing or the other continues to crop up and catch your eyeballs everywhere. Now again, leaving aside the millions... AND THE MILLIONS (the rock reference there :) ) of photoshopped images of the Indian cricket team beating up the Australians and the Pakistanis, its another small webpage that has caught the fancy of people everywhere... a page rather innovatively named "What is wrong with me", which (if you didn't get by the web name) gives people an opportunity to tell you what is wrong with you. Anonymously too, if I may add.

What is this fascination that people have to know what other people think ? I think its everyone has a hidden narcissist inside of them that just WANTS to know... ( yeah thats right I said it, YOU SIR/madam (as the case may be) are a narcissist TOO... I just choose to wear it on my sleeve :P :D ).
Anywho, moving along, I decided to take a pot shot at the thing meself and went ahead and got my very own webpage where YOU can tell ME whats wrong with me.

http://whatiswrongwith.me/protik (Just in case you didn't see it yet...)

So I thought I'd dedicate this post to the wide gamut of, ummm interesting answers that I got.. all anonymous of course.

1. Anonymous says: nothing :)

I say : Brilliant. As we say in the "poker house" :D... "pura love rahega" :)

2. Anonymous says: oh no! you're perfect..

I say : Thank you... I sort of get the feeling that this was supposed to be sarcastic but I'll take it at face value. A certain part of me wants to believe that this answer was written by some pretty girl, say Angelina Jolie or Elisha Cuthbert.. :) :D

3. Anonymous says: you're a bong

I say : Hahahahaha... I don't know how that is my fault but I'll be damned if I say I didn't find that funny. :D

4. Anonymous says: smartass

I say : Ok I know who wrote this so " :P ". Maybe sometimes I am... I'll try to tone it down. Or not :D :P. No seriously I will. Maybe. :)

5. Anonymous says: Your mom was worried you are very Lazy.

I say : So the point that is being made is that I'm lazy, I think. Well actually I am, because you know, if there was a contest to find who the laziest guy in the world was.. I would lose. You know why ? Because I would have been too lazy to even enter. But more seriously, in my defense, I can be quite active while doing something that I like or WANT to do. Plus I like to be cozy and comfortable and preferably asleep.

6. Anonymous says: kyu..kyu..kyun yeh sab kyun...

I say : ainwayi

7. Anonymous says: 1+2=3

I say : Yes, I am a bit weak at maths. For people who don't believe me... just ask any of the guys who play poker or my closer friends. Well its not maths per se.. its basically basic arithmetic that I almost always mess up. Don't like it but its true. Coming to the comment made, "like rahega is answer pe dada.. kaafi innovative way mein bataye ho".

8. Anonymous says: sab peace hai be :)

I say : Thanks rahega dost :)

9. my name is..yes it is says: u r a loss...........pong!

I say : Haa Haa Ekdum.. NOT. LOSS :P (Its an inside joke.. I know who this is :D)

10. Anonymous says: u brag a lot.. act as if u r the most imp person around.. thoda humble ho jaa

I say : I don't know where you are coming from about the brag a lot thing, because I don't. About the other part, yes I do have a bloated ego and maybe it sometimes rubs off wrongly on other people. Sorry about that. But the bragging part is just outright wrong.


And a lot of other similar and some.. lets just say spam comments. Which brings me to the most interesting answer that I got and am dying to address...

Anonymous says:
You are smart, but you lack direction. To add to that, you are extremely narcissistic. Those are things that don't go together. It is probably the bengali in you. Try to think less selfishly, and whatever you do in life, make sure at the end you can look back and say, at the very least, 'Hey, I made a positive change in my environment and the people in it.' I am glad you decided to do this.

I say : Thank you. Now I know that there is someone out there who actually took the time to write down all this for me.. which means a lot. And most of the points hit home. I don't know who wrote it, but its evident that you know me really well and I would love to know who wrote it so I can thank him/her personally, though that would beat the whole point of it being anonymous ! But then its really eyeopening if someone does not mince his/her words and speaks the truth, and I know its meant for my good only. So thank you and I shall keep what you said in mind.

When I made the page, I thought of it as just a lark and evidently so did all other people who answered except for the last one above. I was actually quite touched by that one answer.

Anywho, be that as it may, it was good hearing from people what they think :). And if you still want to tell me a few uncomfortable truths.. go ahead and maybe I'll answer them here... :P :)

Peace.

India Shining or The Not so Secret Seven events of 2010

Taking a look back at 2010...seven points :
1. Ruchika case - The man (SPS Rathore) still walks free.
2. Arushi Talwar case - CBI closes case. Will there be any answer for the inhumane Narco tests on the innocent servants ? Where is that SC judge who claimed to know the criminal's identity now ? Will the wrongdoers EVER be brought to book ?
3. Suresh Kalmadi - Still not even questioned !!! While minions are languishing in jail. Where are your Narco tests now CBI ???
4. Nira Radia - .....ok...
5. A. Raja - What ?! *cough*Narco test*cough*
6. Arundhati Roy - Sedition charges ?! Are you f$#@#! kidding me ?? Doesn't democracy mean freedom of speech and opinion ?!
7. Binayak Sen - Life sentence ? REALLY ??

So basically, if I have money and clout, then I can get away with murder, rape, embezzlement, bringing shame to the country, .... Or if I am Nira Radia, I basically run the country.

And these are only a handful of cases that jump out at you. There are innumerably many more cases that can be read about each day where the gross miscarriage of justice is apparent. Which begs me to ask...where is that India Shining ? Who cares about the bloody GDP when you can't assure the common man justice ? Who cares about the bloody economic shenanigans when you can't let a person air his/her opinion ? For every superficial step that India takes forward it seems that out society and our judicial and political system yanks us five steps back... to which I just want to ask...

WHAT THE PHAAACK INDIA ??????????? WHAT THE PHAAAAACK ?????????????