What would Jesus do ? :D

Been a long time since I last posted, however, it seems my blog keeps getting a regular read thanks to a previous post I made about a nice ghazal some time back. Anyway, so recently I was asked to write a story and was given 5 words with which I had to go about it. Pretty interesting, I thought, and took it up. To cut to the chase, these were the words I got : ability, accelerate, inquiry, enormous and corporate; and following is the story I came up with. It is a bit weak in some places, I agree, but I love how it showcases my randomness... so here it is :

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Dear Diary,

Hi, my name is Jesus. You know, as in the Son of God. Yeah that’s me. It’s not easy let me assure you. They had nails put into my hands, made me carry crosses and stuff, oh the things that you must do when you are me… it’s a bummer. So my journey began when people started to discover my awesome abilities. Like the ability to walk on water, yeah that one was priceless… always the biggest drawer. Then there were the small matters of curing illness, teaching people the moral codes, basically trying to get everyone’s lives in some sort of shape.

As I kept travelling, and working, my popularity grew. Man, did it accelerate! You know like Danica Patrick at the Indy… oh wait, that’s not supposed to happen till 2000 years from now. Forget I said that. I mean, really, forget that! So my popularity ran through the charts. I had these twelve cool guys following me everywhere, basically doing whatever I told them to. Yeah, being the Son of God does have its own privileges. Anyway, coming back to my story, people then started following me and listening more intently to me. Of course the healing incurable diseases shtick and walking on water does do wonders for your credibility. But then the inevitable happened… the rulers got pissed. And as common sense dictates, that NEVER ends well.

It’s sort of like a big corporate getting threatened by the new upstart in the market. The big corporate either acquires the upstart or runs it into the ground. It’s simple economics really. Don’t worry, a few centuries from now someone will write a book about that. Spoiler Alert! Ha ha. So that led to all the hullaballoo and public inquiry into what I was doing, blah, blah, blah. Man that did not end well for me! This is where we come back to the whole crucifixion angle (which, by the way, is totally going to go out of fashion in a few centuries), having to carry a huge cross, getting nailed down onto said cross and all that.

Anyway, so that happened three days ago, and now I’m here among these dead bodies, in what seems to be a cave. Damn, I am NOT having a good week. You know what would be creepy? If one of these cadavers got out of their coffins and started walking! Hmm, I think I just invented a whole new line of stories, must remember to call them something. Something starting with Z, yes that sounds right. Ok, before any creepy stuff starts getting to me, let me just remove this enormous boulder that’s covering the entrance of the cave (with my awesome abilities!) and get out of here. I don’t want to be late to the gathering they’ve kept for me. I’ll fill you in on the details later, till then, ciao.