Sunday, October 26, 2008

BAD MOVIES .....

There are two ways to make a bad movie.... one is making it while flipping the finger to the rest of the world and not giving a damn about anything. The second way... well to know what the second way is.. watch KIDNAP. Or rather... don't.
In my opinion the whole cast and crew including the producers distributors and anyone remotely connected in anyway to the movie should be put in a straitjacket and be made to watch KIDNAP.... forever. How could they inflict such a movie upon us unsuspecting humans ?? In my opinion, if you have to make a bad movie.. make it like GUNDA. When GUNDA was made, its makers made no bones about the fact that they had made a pathetic movie... rather the USP of the movie is the fact that it is mindbogglingly bad. Hats off to them for the movie though..!!! Its so bad that its really really funny. Like the part where atleast 50 ambassador cars come up to beat Mithunda (yes the one and only) , and all the cars stop and the doors open... and only 5 guys come out to fight. Or the parts where the character introduce themselves... "Mera naam hai Bulla, aur main rakhta hoon hamesha khullam khulla " !!! Brilliant. When while going to kill his enemies, Mithunda suddenly stops to do an absolutely irrelevant song and dance sequence, you dont clutch your head in frustration... you cheer along with everyone else around you watching the film. THAT is where Kidnap fails.
The makers of Kidnap told the world that they were making a good mainstream film, and thats where they messed it up. When people go to see GUNDA they go with a certain mindset, they go to be entertained... they know that the movie does not need to make sense... rather the fact that it doesnt make sense half the time just adds to the entertainment factor. ( http://www.gunda-faqs.blogspot.com/ ...yes some true fans and disciples of the great director Kanti Shah and Prabhuji Mithunda have endeavoured to answer the questions posed by the holes in the storyline.) Anyways, Kidnap disappoints on each and every level and Imran Khan is AWFUL ...even Upen Patel would have been ashamed of this performance and thats saying something. Minissha Lamba, the girl who mysteriously keeps changing her clothes every time Imran is not around, is equally rotten. Vidya Malvade, who plays her mom, is much much better looking.. and thats about it. The dialogue delivery leaves you wanting to bust open your head by banging it repeatedly against the wall.
"This is a kidnapping. I have kidnapped you." ,says Imran to Minissha... Even the furniture in that room gives more expressions that this duo. I would point out atleast 50 other points in the movie that would make you feel like killikng yourself if you were watching it but I wont as I suspect even the effort of typing them in may leave me brain dead or maybe paralysed for life.
I would just like to implore the people who make movies to please see the film once before you release it. Our people have been tortured enough... we dont need it anymore. Please.. please if you do make a bad movie, there s no harm in owning up to it. I suggest you release it with a advisory sticker proclaiming it to be a bad movie and I swear we will watch it. Just do not catch us unprepared.. let us be ready for what we will face when we come to see your movie. Look at GUNDA.. we made it work... it has become a cult movie... a phenomenal success . Thank you.

P.S.
If you people did not know, GUNDA is rated 8.6 on imdb ... At one point of time, many puritanical devotees of the movie from IIT Kharagpur even managed to get it into the top 10 by repeatedly voting for it (yes on the same list with Shawshank Redemption, Godfather etc). YEAH!!!
A suggestion... if you are free this weekend, dont go to watch crap like Kidnap... go out there and rent a classic, rent GUNDA. I sincerely believe its one of those movies that you should see atleast once before you die... Bulla, Lambu Atta, Chutiya, Ibu Hatela, Prabhuji (Mithunda) and everyone else.. may your legacy live on forever in the minds and hard disks of your devotees !!

P.P.S.
Also on a more serious note watch Shawshank Redemption (if you haven't yet) and Grave of the Fireflies. These are movies that leave an imprint upon your heart... For people who thought animation is just for kids, watch Grave of the Fireflies about a brother and sister orphaned during WWII and their struggle for survival. Who said all animated movies have a feel-good ending ?

Friday, October 10, 2008

Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps ...

Ok... Now, I know that most of you will vouch for F.R.I.E.N.D.S. , a few of you may go for How I Met Your Mother or maybe lean towards Two and a Half Men, and my buddies in IIT will move towards The Big Bang Theory... and while I'm the first one to admit that all these shows are extremely funny, having seen them all, let me just put past you another show which I know most people haven't seen but I assure you is equally rib ticklingly funny, Coupling.
You know what I've noticed ? Every IITian, well atleast every KGPian, well atleast every normal KGPian, watches atleast one sitcom or the other..!!! I mean, what is it with us and sitcoms? Anyways cant say that I've got anything to complain about..
Now where was I ? Oh yeah, Coupling, right... Well I brought the first four seasons home to watch during the pujas and I found it to be as absorbing as the aforemetioned shows. Do give it a try and I dont think you'll be disappointed.

Anyway, be that as it may, one thing that always bothered me is my apparent inability to remain interested in anything for a sustainably long period of time. I mean, I probably have had more hobbies than a whole army combined but somehow... I start with full enthusiasm and shoot off the starting blocks but, as time goes by, my enthusiasm keeps waning until I just sort of stop doing it. I used to collect matchboxes, then round stones, then keyrings, then coins, then stamps, then playing cards, not counting the times I collected WWE trump cards, tazos (remember those things we used to get in Lay's ?? I had 113 of those) and pokemon jenga cards among others. Then more recently I started googlewhacking and a few days later promptly forgot about it until I chanced upon my post on the same.. (necropaedophilic psychopath.. sometimes I crack myself up :) ...HAHA ) .

Oh and before I forget... guess who is coming to GIR ???
You'll never believe it ....
SATYRICON !!!!!

Why does it have to happen to me ?? WHY ?? First the Megadeth concert, then the Maiden gig and now.. SATYRICON !!! I'll be missing this too !!! Its like Fate was readying me for this, like fattening the pig or rather cushioning the blow...
"So you miss the Megadeth concert, you must be feeling bad".
"OK so you missed the Maiden gig, dont be gutted, you missed Megadeth remember, though this is a little bigger..."
Now its :: "Hey, remember you missed Megadeth and Iron Maiden live ?? Well umm, lets just put it this way, umm, you're going to miss one more, nothing big, just satyricon.. OK" . WHAT??!!!
Anyway I'll just have to resign myself to the fact... theres nothing I can do about it now... but SATYRICON...

\m/ metal rules \m/

P.S. I'd just like to add that Linkin Park, Limp Bizkit, Evanescence, Marilyn Manson, Rammstein, etc. are NOT METAL !!!!! And please do not call them metal bands, thus degrading actual metal bands... Thank You..

P.P.S.
Give Coupling a try. Also the other shows mentioned in the off-chance you haven't even seen those.

P.P.P.S.
When I say that these bands are not metal, I mean that they are not. See, there are bands who would probably get classified as metal though they are now a disgrace mostly like Korn or Slipknot... but the bands mentioned above are not metal.