BAD MOVIES .....

There are two ways to make a bad movie.... one is making it while flipping the finger to the rest of the world and not giving a damn about anything. The second way... well to know what the second way is.. watch KIDNAP. Or rather... don't.
In my opinion the whole cast and crew including the producers distributors and anyone remotely connected in anyway to the movie should be put in a straitjacket and be made to watch KIDNAP.... forever. How could they inflict such a movie upon us unsuspecting humans ?? In my opinion, if you have to make a bad movie.. make it like GUNDA. When GUNDA was made, its makers made no bones about the fact that they had made a pathetic movie... rather the USP of the movie is the fact that it is mindbogglingly bad. Hats off to them for the movie though..!!! Its so bad that its really really funny. Like the part where atleast 50 ambassador cars come up to beat Mithunda (yes the one and only) , and all the cars stop and the doors open... and only 5 guys come out to fight. Or the parts where the character introduce themselves... "Mera naam hai Bulla, aur main rakhta hoon hamesha khullam khulla " !!! Brilliant. When while going to kill his enemies, Mithunda suddenly stops to do an absolutely irrelevant song and dance sequence, you dont clutch your head in frustration... you cheer along with everyone else around you watching the film. THAT is where Kidnap fails.
The makers of Kidnap told the world that they were making a good mainstream film, and thats where they messed it up. When people go to see GUNDA they go with a certain mindset, they go to be entertained... they know that the movie does not need to make sense... rather the fact that it doesnt make sense half the time just adds to the entertainment factor. ( http://www.gunda-faqs.blogspot.com/ ...yes some true fans and disciples of the great director Kanti Shah and Prabhuji Mithunda have endeavoured to answer the questions posed by the holes in the storyline.) Anyways, Kidnap disappoints on each and every level and Imran Khan is AWFUL ...even Upen Patel would have been ashamed of this performance and thats saying something. Minissha Lamba, the girl who mysteriously keeps changing her clothes every time Imran is not around, is equally rotten. Vidya Malvade, who plays her mom, is much much better looking.. and thats about it. The dialogue delivery leaves you wanting to bust open your head by banging it repeatedly against the wall.
"This is a kidnapping. I have kidnapped you." ,says Imran to Minissha... Even the furniture in that room gives more expressions that this duo. I would point out atleast 50 other points in the movie that would make you feel like killikng yourself if you were watching it but I wont as I suspect even the effort of typing them in may leave me brain dead or maybe paralysed for life.
I would just like to implore the people who make movies to please see the film once before you release it. Our people have been tortured enough... we dont need it anymore. Please.. please if you do make a bad movie, there s no harm in owning up to it. I suggest you release it with a advisory sticker proclaiming it to be a bad movie and I swear we will watch it. Just do not catch us unprepared.. let us be ready for what we will face when we come to see your movie. Look at GUNDA.. we made it work... it has become a cult movie... a phenomenal success . Thank you.

P.S.
If you people did not know, GUNDA is rated 8.6 on imdb ... At one point of time, many puritanical devotees of the movie from IIT Kharagpur even managed to get it into the top 10 by repeatedly voting for it (yes on the same list with Shawshank Redemption, Godfather etc). YEAH!!!
A suggestion... if you are free this weekend, dont go to watch crap like Kidnap... go out there and rent a classic, rent GUNDA. I sincerely believe its one of those movies that you should see atleast once before you die... Bulla, Lambu Atta, Chutiya, Ibu Hatela, Prabhuji (Mithunda) and everyone else.. may your legacy live on forever in the minds and hard disks of your devotees !!

P.P.S.
Also on a more serious note watch Shawshank Redemption (if you haven't yet) and Grave of the Fireflies. These are movies that leave an imprint upon your heart... For people who thought animation is just for kids, watch Grave of the Fireflies about a brother and sister orphaned during WWII and their struggle for survival. Who said all animated movies have a feel-good ending ?

Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps ...

Ok... Now, I know that most of you will vouch for F.R.I.E.N.D.S. , a few of you may go for How I Met Your Mother or maybe lean towards Two and a Half Men, and my buddies in IIT will move towards The Big Bang Theory... and while I'm the first one to admit that all these shows are extremely funny, having seen them all, let me just put past you another show which I know most people haven't seen but I assure you is equally rib ticklingly funny, Coupling.
You know what I've noticed ? Every IITian, well atleast every KGPian, well atleast every normal KGPian, watches atleast one sitcom or the other..!!! I mean, what is it with us and sitcoms? Anyways cant say that I've got anything to complain about..
Now where was I ? Oh yeah, Coupling, right... Well I brought the first four seasons home to watch during the pujas and I found it to be as absorbing as the aforemetioned shows. Do give it a try and I dont think you'll be disappointed.

Anyway, be that as it may, one thing that always bothered me is my apparent inability to remain interested in anything for a sustainably long period of time. I mean, I probably have had more hobbies than a whole army combined but somehow... I start with full enthusiasm and shoot off the starting blocks but, as time goes by, my enthusiasm keeps waning until I just sort of stop doing it. I used to collect matchboxes, then round stones, then keyrings, then coins, then stamps, then playing cards, not counting the times I collected WWE trump cards, tazos (remember those things we used to get in Lay's ?? I had 113 of those) and pokemon jenga cards among others. Then more recently I started googlewhacking and a few days later promptly forgot about it until I chanced upon my post on the same.. (necropaedophilic psychopath.. sometimes I crack myself up :) ...HAHA ) .

Oh and before I forget... guess who is coming to GIR ???
You'll never believe it ....
SATYRICON !!!!!

Why does it have to happen to me ?? WHY ?? First the Megadeth concert, then the Maiden gig and now.. SATYRICON !!! I'll be missing this too !!! Its like Fate was readying me for this, like fattening the pig or rather cushioning the blow...
"So you miss the Megadeth concert, you must be feeling bad".
"OK so you missed the Maiden gig, dont be gutted, you missed Megadeth remember, though this is a little bigger..."
Now its :: "Hey, remember you missed Megadeth and Iron Maiden live ?? Well umm, lets just put it this way, umm, you're going to miss one more, nothing big, just satyricon.. OK" . WHAT??!!!
Anyway I'll just have to resign myself to the fact... theres nothing I can do about it now... but SATYRICON...

\m/ metal rules \m/

P.S. I'd just like to add that Linkin Park, Limp Bizkit, Evanescence, Marilyn Manson, Rammstein, etc. are NOT METAL !!!!! And please do not call them metal bands, thus degrading actual metal bands... Thank You..

P.P.S.
Give Coupling a try. Also the other shows mentioned in the off-chance you haven't even seen those.

P.P.P.S.
When I say that these bands are not metal, I mean that they are not. See, there are bands who would probably get classified as metal though they are now a disgrace mostly like Korn or Slipknot... but the bands mentioned above are not metal.

Block Block Block

You always keep hearing about authors getting writer's block, and you know its one of those things that you read about and never expect it to happen to you, kind of like being a hurricane victim or a drought victim. I mean you read, you feel sorry for the affected and you move on... Well, though I'm no writer, I must confess I am experiencing something of the sort. For the past few days I've been meaning to post something but for the life of me, i just cant figure out what to write about, or rather what to write.
Leaving that as it may, the past month has been a very hectic one for me. You won't believe how little time I had for myself with being involved in this thing and that in my hall. Oh, and you know what I realized ?? I realized that I have the most awesome time management ability !!! HAHA... Thankfully this week onwards half my work load will be reduced and I can finally concentrate on my studies (my exams are next week and i haven't even started, i got a 0 in one test and in one viva)... ok, so maybe my time management skills do suck, that too big time.
Seriously though what I realised in the past month is that if I'm getting involved in more than one activities, I need to get my priorities right.

By the way, I just got a 500gb external hard disk !!!! and I feel awesome about it... its just what I need for our KGP LAN , the one thing that every KGPian is proud about. Talking about our LAN, guess what I found to be available ?? A full season of Different Strokes !! Now I dont know if you remember that show, but I do and it brought back great memories of the times when I used to come back after playing hide and seek with my friends and my mom used to give me chocos while i sat in front of the tv waching different strokes... ahh those were the days..!!
I just cant wait to get back to kgp and download all of it :) ..and 4 seasons of Jeeves and Wooster YAY!! long live mr. wodehouse...

Of Doctors and Humor

After all the visits I've made to my dentists, I have realised one thing : to be a doctor, or dentist, you need to be DEVOID OF EMOTIONS. Can you, the normal man, imagine yourself calmly taking a drill (yes A DRILL, the thing you make holes in walls with) and entering into a persons mouth and proceeding to cut off a huge chunk of the gum while blood spurts all over the place ?? Well it makes my stomach churn, and to think I let someone do that to me !! Fricken hurts like hell.

Talking about dentists, one budding dentist refused to let me post the ambigram of his/her name that I made which, in my opinion is one of my best works. Well talk about property rights... I made it, its my blog, but still... anyway you know I bear no hard feelings :).. though I really really wanted to post it. Actually I made a few more so I would have posted those too if I had to, you didnt have to worry. I love messing with you, you know that.

Isn't it amazing how many people have such bad sense of humour ? And by bad I mean really really PATHETIC. Unfortunately I fall into that category. But its not a bad thing you know... well maybe it is how would I know anyway? A guy once pointed out a bunch of wires on the ground in Electrical Lab and said "Taare Zameen Par" and it was enough to keep me in splits for most of the class. You know what I feel? People don't appreciate the sheer brilliance and ingenuity that goes into the making of a PJ... I mean, ask your ordinary person to make up a PJ and I can guarantee you that he'll be dumbfounded. It takes intelligence, wit and above all TALENT. During the intros this year, I found that a lot of guys read books. Well if you want humour and you like to read, then I have just one word :: WODEHOUSE . The greatest comic writer ever, and in my opinion Shakespeare doesn't even come close. I mean if Shakespeare is a pretty nifty tomb, the Wodehouse is most definitely the Taj Mahal. Sample this ::

He wore the look of a man who was searching for the leak in life's gaspipe with a lighted candel .

Simply amazing, sensational and brilliant. How can you come up with such an allegory? Hats off to you, Sir Pelham Grenville Wodehouse.

IIT ...mindless ramblings....

So finally i'm back in college . Before going any further id like to inform the people who dont know that Kharagpur is the only city, or more accurately, the only inhabitated area which is famous for everything it contains. Other normal places you see are famous usually for one thing say steel or mica or even mangoes, well thats not the case with THIS place. HAHA. Im proud to inform you that every thing, absolutely everything, that Kharagpur contains is world famous ::

• THE RAILWAY PLATFORM
• IIT

And thats about it. Thats all. No literally THAT IS ALL.

There is no frickin thing in this godforsaken place other than those mentioned above. But before you get me wrong, let me clarify, Im proud of my institute, just not of its geographical location. Anyway thats neither here nor there.

So I come back after my vacations and Im assigned to a new hostel (YAY!). I go in and am informed that I'll be living in a double-room with some other guy which is absolutely fine by me. But what i'm not informed is that I'll be living with another guy less in a double-bedded room and more in a two-beds-squeezed-into-a-cubicle-such-that-you-dont- even-have-sufficient-place-to-stand room. So here I am, cooped up in this ...umm... room (?) which has only one lan port for the two people resulting in one of us hogging the connection while the other guy has his back turned. Anyways its not IIT whom I blame for this type of crunch but the fatass idiots in our government who already have one foot in their graves but are sadistically bent on making this country a goddamned miserable place for its future citizens before they go.

PS : Did you guys notice how these politicians just never seem to die ? They all seem to linger near their graves and keep haunting us all with their fucked up ideaologies. In my opinion what this country needs is a strong hand which will deliver the decisive shove to these lingering spectres...

An Awkward Attempt

Ok so this time its Palkush whom I need to thank... Well you know all the times that you just sit idle and have nothing to do and all you do is doodle on some piece of paper ? So why not use it to do something constructive like making an ambigram ? So here is my attempt at it.. well its a hand drawn sketch so its not picture perfect but hey, so what? And since its my sister's birthday, I thought why not make an ambigram of her name... Anyways heres to you didishona...

Belated HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!!

Love Neil

The Tale of Two Movies

So finally today I saw the pakistani movie "Khuda Ke Liye", after a lot of procrastination and boy am I glad I saw it !! A stirring movie, if a little controversial in its interpretation of Islam but then again anything about Islam does tend to cause a little controversy, it depicts the problems faced by Islam in todays world. Two musicians, brothers, in Pakistan from a progressive well to do family go on different paths as one falls under the influence of a mullah and joins the taliban while the other goes to the US to pursue his music. Meanwhile a British Pakistani man marries off his daughter to the younger brother, her cousin, the one who joined Taliban in a rural part of Pakistan to stop her from marrying a british 'gora' (white guy). The other brother in US marries a girl he meets there but after 9/11 is abducted by the FBI on suspicion of terrorism and is tortured. Will Mary, the British girl married off against her will, be able to escape and return to Britain ? What happens to the guy being tortured in the US, will he get justice ? You have to watch the movie to see for yourself how it pans out. One thing I can assure is that you wont be disappointed. Featuring a special appearance by Naseeruddin Shah, the film is full of memorable moments, and though the cast doesn't do a spectacular job, they are borne out by the script. I mean, the acting is not bad at all, its actually rather good in patches but then the powerful storyline makes up for it. And in my opinion, I dont think any of our Bollywood mainstream heroes could have done justice to the script as much as the present cast did. All in all a beautifully made film and worth watching every minute.
Oh yeah I also saw the much hyped Jaane Tu ..ya Jaane Naa . Well lets just say its not a scratch on the abovementioned film. But then again its not meant to be. It is the cliched boy loves girl but doesnt know it / doesnt have the guts to say it until and unless she decides to go to America, and then chases her to the airport. But this done to death storyline is well handled in this film and it turns out to be thoroughly enjoyable. A good beginning for the actors, and yeah Genelia is cute. You get your moneys worth, I think, though I may be wrong as i saw it in a rundown theater and it didnt cost me much, then again my day was made thanks to Naseeruddin Shah (again) who, in a special appearance as a guy who is dead but for some reason or the other seems to fancy dancing around in his portriat, makes a priceless expression which is a mixture of pride, glee and happiness when his son is arrested by the cops. I almost shit myself laughing at that expression. You know that bears out my theory that its these small things in life that usually gang up to make your day. Then again, an enjoyable watch, but I'd rather watch "Khuda Ke Liye" anyday. Or maybe.. uhh I dont know... well watch both the films. But then Khuda Ke Liye is one of those films, in my opinion, that a person should watch atleast once.

Okay Okay is it just me or does that song "Kabhi Kabhi Aditi Zindagi" (admittedly a very catching song) sound eerily similar to "Appudo Ippudo" telegu song in Bomarillu.

NOTE : I have NOT seen the movie but I HAVE heard the song as have most other people in my college for mostly the geographical diversity of the students.